Choose to be Tigger!

May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love. It is there for each and every one of us.
Saint Theresa’s Prayer

My friend over at Spanky Strikes Back lost her job. It wasn’t because she wasn’t performing her job. It was because she logged in to a system and GAVE herself work and then completed the work. Her fatal error was that she logged in as someone other than herself.
Spank is smart – really smart with an amazing wit and a way with words. She has had an unbelievably tough time.  She has custody of her two children and her ex-husband doesn’t keep jobs very long so she is often without child support for them. That job she just got fired from, well, that’s their bread and butter. As Spank says, “I have baby raccoons to feed.”
And yet, she keeps her sense of humor all the while wailing inside, worrying about her children’s Christmas.
She has also had to move back in with her mother and while that would be a comfort for most of us, for Spanky – not so much! So Spank has no job, two children, no child support and lives with a mother who is troubled.
Gary posted a comment on her last post and it directed me to a video. Now I usually don’t have time to watch videos at work, especially when I’ve come in early to get work done. This video – this video was the best spent 10 minutes of my life. In 55 years, it is the lecture I wish I had listened to when I was in my 20s. When I was in my mid-30s, I realized that my life hadn’t turned out as I had expected. Unfortunately, the same thought occurred to me this morning as I drove into work in the pouring rain. Here I am, 55, and my life is taking yet another turn that I hadn’t anticipated.
Now, I have to admit, I’ve been feeling sorry for myself and have been allowing myself to feel blue. I vacillate between being excited over a new adventure and feeling very sad about the life changes that I foresee. Anxiety doesn’t even begin to cover it.
But I watched this video and by golly, I’ll watch it again because I’m going to post the link right here. Click where it says: Watch Randy’s famous “Last Lecture.”
And darn it, I choose to be Tigger!

Ignore it

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
Mark Twain (1835 – 1910), Letter to Mrs Foote, Dec. 2, 1887
I have a way of dealing with life that surely isn’t healthy but I ignore it.
Stress – I ignore it. Weight gain, I ignore it. Anger, I ignore it. Disappointment, I ignore it. Sadness, I ignore it.
I usually try to ignore depression and anxiety, but sometimes, I can’t. Everyday, I get up, go to work and do what I need to do. It’s easy to ignore what eats at you when you have a task or goal. On the weekends, it’s harder to stay focused because I don’t HAVE to do anything.
I dread doing grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning the house. I hate to buy clothes and shoes. I hate the malls – in fact they freak me out. I never go by myself anymore.
I’ve always been able to keep up with the extra-curricular stuff. Rehearsals for shows and church, but lately, I’ve been putting that stuff off too.
I’m in a bad place but I’m ignoring it.
Don’t get me wrong… I still have so much joy – more than can be listed here. I thrive on that joy. I don’t ignore the joy. My nieces and nephews are a constant source of joy. My husband and son still make me laugh and feel safe. My brothers and sister, my in-laws, all make me smile broadly.
Medication helps, but sometimes the darkness is overwhelming. I don’t sleep well and then I’m cranky. I ignore it. My co-workers and family – it can’t be easy for them. I ignore that too.

A Tribute to a Trio

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
Jane Howard, “Families”  

 

I have a pretty wonderful son. In fact, he’s outstanding and I’ve mentioned this in previous posts. He was the first grandchild born on my side of the family. It was eight years before the next grandchild came along. Today I want to talk about   the three girl cousins who were born after my son

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Gina is first – a dark haired, dark eyed beauty who takes after my mom’s family. She looks a bit like my mom and she is beautiful inside and out. She has a degree in communications and has worked in production in TV. She played softball in high school and also performed with the Chamber Choir, Color Guard and Drama Club. She is an amazing dancer and can be very graceful. She has co-produced an independent movie. She is funny and super talented, creative and sensitive. She loves to sing at karaoke and she is GOOD! She has worked in youth ministry and been a substitute teacher. She is a loving daughter, sister and niece. And she can wing a Frisbee like nobody’s business!

The next niece is Rachel also a dark haired, dark eyed beauty.. She is a year younger than Gina and she came into our family when she was about 8 or 9 years old. Her mom married my brother but that’s a story in and of itself. Rachel is an artist, dancer and singer who played softball in high school and college. She sings at karaoke and at church. She just completed her master’s and passed her medical boards and is awaiting licensing to be a Physician’s Assistant. She, too, is beautiful and talented and loving and smart. Did I mention how smart she is? She passed her boards with flying colors! She has wanted to work in the medical field for as long as I’ve known her. And she is still a really good artist and funnier than heck – and sweet, she is so sweet.

And the next child is Erika. She is light haired and has hazel eyes. She is also smart and beautiful and talented and creative and funny. She was involved in Color Guard and String Ensemble and the Drama Club in high school and is completing her masters in music therapy. She is interning at a nearby hospice and she is effective and learning a lot. She plays guitar and sings and plays a mad cello. She is engaged to a wonderful young man. She still likes me to sit next to her when we go out for dinner.  She is an “old soul”, deep and mystical with a spot of comedy! Two years ago she trained for and completed a 75-mile bike-a-thon.

These girls have amazed me with what they have accomplished in their short lives. I couldn’t have dreamed about what they have achieved already and I can’t wait to see what they do with the next 20 years of their lives.

Back to Reality

This is my brother and my sister-in-law and my nephew and niece with Minnie Mouse. I took the picture on Friday. Now, I’m here at work. Doesn’t seem right!