I’ve come to the conclusion that I am a miserable human being. I have a job I love (and even a day off today) and I still had to complain all day. We got our Christmas tree and it’s even got lights on it, but I’m still complaining because even though it is perfectly shaped, it cost way more than I wanted to spend. The washing machine has miraculously resurrected itself from a busted transmission and I can’t smile. We’re a couple of days away from the first concert I’ve conducted in oh so many years and I approach each rehearsal as if it is a face off. I spent a wonderful evening in Baltimore – a Festival of Lessons and Carols that, at the time. was so moving; dinner with friends and I didn’t have to drive, but as quickly as the night was over, my Christmas spirit evaporated.
As we drove through the Lowe’s parking lot yesterday, I bitched about the people walking nonchalantly to their cars without moving quickly enough so that we could drive to the next place, people driving like asses in the parking lot because they were on cell phones. People, people and more stupid people. And cold, it’s cold. My hands are like sandpaper after fooling with the lights and the tree and old newspaper. And my husband is home from North Carolina now and I still find that he irritates me. And he’s so good to me, he puts up with it. And laundry to fold and put away and oh my God I should just be shot for being the most miserable person on earth.
He did say that in two weeks the days will start to get longer again. I guess he’s wishfully thinking that more sunlight will help. I hope so too. Come on, December 21st!!!!!!