The Long-Awaited Why-I-Can-Cry Post

So did I ever mention that I get a little down now and again? Or that the nausea-sweating-general-glazing-over I’ve had all my life was actually a panic attack? And the fact that I had them when I was away from my comfort zone has a name – Social Anxiety Disorder?  Did I mention that my first date with my now husband almost ended abruptly because of a panic attack? It’s crazy, too, because I love people. Oh, that’s right… It’s crazy!

Well, stress is stress and issues are issues and there are medications made to help deal with them and I thought I’d be taking my little helper forever. But guess what the Doc (she’s a neat lady, by the way) said when I last visited her? “So do you think you want to try to wean off of this for the summer?” “That would be hecka good!” I thought.


And darn it here I am, a month later, happily smiling, proudly (and appropriately) crying, boisterously laughing, sympathetic, angry, grateful, grieving, hopeful, frustrated, anxious, remorseful, worried, blah blah blah. And it’s all good.

… Just the waking up screaming in the middle of the night is a little disconcerting.  And funny how, after over 6 months of living alone, I suddenly get weirded out at night. I’m hoping that kind of stuff will level out after a little while. I see Doc again in a couple of weeks and I want to tell her I like where I’m at right now – laughing through tears!



Filed under Life

3 responses to “The Long-Awaited Why-I-Can-Cry Post

  1. Heather

    It’s all good, Mama. ‘Cause it’s just a ride. So wheee!

  2. episcopalifem


  3. thetownnews

    You truly are brave. And, you’ll be fine once you get used to having strong emotions again. One end of the spectrum is terrifying but the other end is joyful.

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