I can’t sleep tonight. It’s 11:00 pm and I have to work tomorrow. I’m tired but my mind won’t stop. I’m getting over a sinus infection, on an antibiotic and didn’t sleep much last night… and still – I can’t sleep.
I got robbed yesterday – cancer stole another friend. Ovarian cancer. I HATE IT. I can’t scream loud enough how much I hate cancer – how much I hate this cancer. I have another friend that’s had it for two years now. I am worried… very worried.
I promised my friend, Pam, when I took her to the bus station after BettyAnn’s funeral, I promised her I’d visit. DID I?
When I heard Ellie was in the hospital, I wanted to go visit. DID I?
I’ve been meaning to call MaryAnne and get together with her. Don’t even think I’m going to answer that question again. Not to mention Dol, Cindy and Brenda who have all extended invitations to visit.
The thing is, there’s something worse than cancer in each one of us – it’s laziness, it’s procrastination, it’a stupidity, it’s ungratefulness. Is that a word? What I’m saying is that our lives are woven together so closely and one thread can unravel us so completely. I’ve let too many of those threads unravel my life lately. I haven’t been grateful for the richness of the people’s lives that have touched mine.
Oh, and I’ve been touched… my church friends, my music friends, my theater friends, my on-line friends, my old friends, my school friends, my work friends, my family friends, my family period. Friends. God, I’m blessed. And God, forgive me for misusing your gift of friends.
God, forgive me. Amen.