The Long-Awaited Why-I-Can-Cry Post

So did I ever mention that I get a little down now and again? Or that the nausea-sweating-general-glazing-over I’ve had all my life was actually a panic attack? And the fact that I had them when I was away from my comfort zone has a name – Social Anxiety Disorder?  Did I mention that my first date with my now husband almost ended abruptly because of a panic attack? It’s crazy, too, because I love people. Oh, that’s right… It’s crazy!

Well, stress is stress and issues are issues and there are medications made to help deal with them and I thought I’d be taking my little helper forever. But guess what the Doc (she’s a neat lady, by the way) said when I last visited her? “So do you think you want to try to wean off of this for the summer?” “That would be hecka good!” I thought.

 

And darn it here I am, a month later, happily smiling, proudly (and appropriately) crying, boisterously laughing, sympathetic, angry, grateful, grieving, hopeful, frustrated, anxious, remorseful, worried, blah blah blah. And it’s all good.

… Just the waking up screaming in the middle of the night is a little disconcerting.  And funny how, after over 6 months of living alone, I suddenly get weirded out at night. I’m hoping that kind of stuff will level out after a little while. I see Doc again in a couple of weeks and I want to tell her I like where I’m at right now – laughing through tears!